19 Things I've Learned in the Past 30 Years
Let's be honest, we're all learning life lessons constantly no matter what age you are but there was something about turning 30 that made me reflect a bit deeper than in years past. After a popular blog post about these lessons I learned, I decided to reflect on them in a little more depth on today's episode. Join me for 19 of the things I had to say now that I'm in my 30s.
30 Life Lessons Learned by 30: Finding Balance, Setting Boundaries, and Trusting Yourself
In this episode of The Mindful Productivity Podcast, I dive into a popular blog post I wrote about “30 Things It’s Time to Say Now that I’m 30.” These insights have resonated with many of you, whether you're in your 20s, 30s, or beyond. Here, I share some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about trusting yourself, navigating relationships, and letting go of things that don’t serve you. So, grab a cup of tea and let’s explore these powerful life lessons.
1. Trust Your Gut Feelings
Your intuition often knows what’s right for you before your mind catches up. If something feels off, listen to that feeling. Your intuition is there to guide you.
2. Friendship Isn’t Only About History
True friendships evolve, and people change. Don’t feel obligated to hold onto friendships just because of shared history. Value connections that uplift and align with your current self.
3. Family Relationships Change Too
Our relationships with family evolve as we grow. Embrace this change, set new boundaries, and allow relationships to shift as needed.
4. Do What Feels Right, Not What You Think You Should Do
Societal expectations can steer us away from our true path. Choosing what genuinely aligns with you brings more happiness than doing what you “should.”
5. Expect Less Support for Your Most Fulfilling Decisions
Sometimes, the decisions that bring you the most joy won’t be met with fanfare. Pursue what brings you happiness, even if others don’t understand.
6. Embrace Stillness and Rest
In our culture of productivity, taking time to rest is a radical act. Allow yourself moments of stillness to recharge and reconnect with yourself.
7. Regrets Don’t Serve You
We all make mistakes. Rather than regretting, embrace them as lessons that helped shape the person you are today.
8. Public Failure Can Be a Growth Tool
Failure in front of others can feel vulnerable but teaches resilience. It’s an opportunity to redefine success and let go of perfection.
9. You’re Not So Different
We all have the capacity to achieve our dreams. The people you admire weren’t born with some exclusive gift—you have it too.
10. Authenticity Over Labels
Don’t let others’ opinions define who you are. Embrace your quirks and differences; they make you unique.
11. It’s Okay Not to Be Positive All the Time
Constant positivity isn’t realistic. Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions—it’s necessary for true mental health.
12. Real Gratitude Comes from Acknowledging All Emotions
Gratitude isn’t a bandaid for tough feelings. Embracing both good and bad moments adds depth to your life.
13. Burn Bridges When Necessary
Sometimes, cutting ties with people or situations is essential for your growth. Don’t be afraid to let go when it’s in your best interest.
14. People Often Won't Understand Your Pain
Grief and trauma are deeply personal. Embrace your own healing process without needing others to fully understand it.
15. Embrace Your Hobbies and Passions
Life’s too short to deny yourself joy. Reconnect with what you love, whether it’s collecting crystals or binging The Golden Girls.
16. You’re More Than What Your Family Thinks
Your potential isn’t limited to what others see in you. You’re constantly growing, evolving, and capable of so much more.
17. Give with Heart
Find causes you truly believe in and give your energy there. You don’t need to save the world—focus on what matters to you.
18. Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish
You can’t help others if you’re not caring for yourself. Prioritize your well-being first so you can show up fully for others.
19. Don’t Hold onto Being Right
Opening your mind to new perspectives is a superpower. Letting go of the need to be right can lead to more growth.
These are just some of the 30 life lessons I’ve learned by age 30, and they continue to shape how I navigate life. Remember, life is a journey, and self-compassion and authenticity are keys to making it a fulfilling one.
If you’d like more insights like this, listen to the full episode on The Mindful Productivity Podcast.
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This is episode 13 of The Mindful Productivity Podcast, and today I'm talking about a variety of things that are actually stem from a blog post I did about a year ago. Now that has turned into one of my most popular blog posts. It's got way more shares and repeats on Facebook and Pinterest than any other blog post I've done, and it actually doesn't have a whole lot to do with mindfulness per se or productivity specifically, but for whatever reason, it's resonated with thousands of people. And the title of that blog post is 27 Things It's Time to Say Now that I'm 30, so I thought I'd devote an episode to this blog post and kind of go through all of them and talk about these lessons that I've learned now that I'm in my 30s and see if any of them apply to you as well.
Welcome to The Mindful Productivity Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Steckler, and this is the place to be to live a more mindful and productive life. If you're ready to turn daily chaos into calm and start your days with intention, then get ready to join me. As we dive deep into mindful living and personal productivity, it's time to connect with your true self so you can live the life you want to live. And it all starts now.
Before we jump into today's episode, I actually wanted to take a minute to read one of the reviews that someone left on the podcast. And if you've been listening to the show for a while and you haven't left a review, my question to you is, why not? They are so helpful in helping other people find the podcast, and they also let me know that you guys are listening. So I wanted to go ahead and share this because I really appreciated her kind words, and I thought maybe it would be something fun to share in general, she says.
As a clinical psychologist, I know on a deep level the value of mindfulness. I practice it, I preach and teach it. I'm always looking for more ways to bring this concept in a meaningful way to my own life. My friends and my patients. Sarah, you have linked together two concepts that are so critical to me, and you do it so naturally. I'm so grateful for your voice and the space you take up in the world. I'm inspired to pursue my bigger dreams and truly live a mindfully productive life.
Thank you so much for that review. It means a lot, and I know, too, that these reviews help when people are deciding whether or not to listen to a podcast. I know that's the first place I go. So if you do have time today or this week to leave a review, I would highly appreciate it. Let's jump into some of these 27 lessons or things that I wanted to share when I turned 30 or after turning 30 last year and a lot of these things are going to resonate with a lot of them.
You may be like, I've never thought about it that way. Or maybe I even disagree, but these things resonated with so many people that I thought, you know what? Let's put it on the podcast. Let's see if someone else out there needs to hear these things. So I'm actually going to go through them and talk about them more in depth. So there's 27 of them. And as I'm recording this podcast, I'm kind of just free flowing. I don't know if I'll get through all of them.
I don't know if we'll have to do a part two or not, but let's just get going. So the first one that I said was the things that feel right to you are right for a reason. And then in brackets I put, unless you're a serial killer, but the more that you can trust in your gut, your intuition, and that voice that speaks through your body in ways that can be hard to interpret. At first, the more that you'll find the callings of your soul, and the more likely you'll be able to say no to the BS stuff that doesn't serve you and your goals.
I think a lot of times we don't hold space for that feeling or we judge it. And when feelings come up and we're like, this doesn't feel right, something's off. We can often judge it in a way where we go, oh, I shouldn't feel this way, or I should be doing what I'm doing. Sometimes these things come up. Let me give you a great example. Before I jumped in to doing what I'm doing now. And before I had, like, a quarter life crisis, if you will, before I Bella into a deep depression, I really was on a path that I thought was right for me.
And part of that journey was jumping into a master's program. I actually started two other master's programs before I actually found a master's program that I really wanted to do. And I dropped out twice. And that was because I listened to this feeling. I listen to this feeling within me. The first one I jumped into was an MBA program, and it was great. I had an opportunity to jump into a graduate program for a really great price that had a lot to do with it, because I was working for a University at the time that covered some of that tuition.
So there was tuition assistance within it. And that was huge, right? Like, I knew I was never going to be able to at that time go back to school and pay full tuition. So that was part of it. Another part of it was working in higher Ed and feeling like feeling this pull toward working with my left brain, more working with that logistical side. And I think that's kind of how business and how life and success, how we kind of rate those things we tend to think of very left brain things like, go to school, get an education, do something with math, with science, right?
Like, a lot of these more like Liberal arts types, degrees or just more kind of free flowing life experiences don't always hold the same value on a resume. Right. So I felt like, okay, I want to do an MBA, and I got about I think it was like a quarter. I was in the first quarter, and it was like, maybe a few weeks in maybe even eight weeks in. And I was like, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. It wasn't for me. And I felt like, Well, I shouldn't feel this way, right?
Because I'm getting a great discount. This is going to open up the door for so many other career opportunities. But it didn't feel right. And the same thing happened again when I actually started a Masters in project management. And I was like, I don't know if this is for me. The point in me telling these stories is that when you actually listen to your soul, your inner voice, that really gut feeling, intuition. You're going to know when a decision is wrong or right for you, and you're not always going to be able to explain why.
But you're going to know what the right answer is for you, and likely in the same way you're going to know when something is not right for you. And that's just as important in many different ways. Number two is friendship is about so much more than loyalty and history. If there's one lesson I want to share, it's that you don't have to stay with friends simply because of time or history, because people change. We all change. People shift and grow. Hell, you're going to change a lot during a crazy transformational, possibly tragic part of your life.
And it might shake you up a bit. How many people you want to walk away from? And there's a reason you're changing. I have went through many different phases of my life. When I lost my dad. That was a huge change. And when you go through something huge, it often kind of breaks you open and you have these moments of realization of where you want to spend your time and energy. I'm not saying that it's okay to just drop people like flies. But I'm saying that if you're in a friendship or a relationship or some kind of connection and you're thinking this is draining me, this is not serving me, or this is shifted in a way that's no longer healthy.
You do not need to stay merely because of the history there in my life. I've spent way too long clinging to different types of old friendships and even ones that aren't that we don't even have that much history. And it was because I felt like they were the only people who truly knew me. And ultimately, they had no idea who I was becoming. So that put me in this really weird dynamic of misunderstanding all around. Right? Like, I was constantly trying to make people of my past within my life understand this new me and also just not feeling quite yet.
Like I'd come out of the cocoon where I could really step forward and make new friends. So sometimes I think when we're in a transformation like that, we hold on to people friends, relationships because we fear being alone or the unknown. But there's something really amazing that happens when you're true to yourself. Regardless. Another thing I want to point out is that life is too short for ultimatums and high stake expectations of what you should do for other people. If you're feeling pressured from a friendship to constantly prove how much you care, it's just not a good sign, and it's not healthy.
And bottom line, if a friendship doesn't feel good anymore, it went through its season. That might sound a little harsh, but it's your call whether or not you want to try to ignite it again or move on and just make sure that you're not expecting a new flame or candle flame by trying to burn a candle that's run out of wax. Right. I think sometimes we get stuck in like, oh, to give an example, right. Like, there's somebody that maybe you were friends with in preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, and it was amazing.
And then you kind of grow apart where you grow up and you're very different. And if we constantly expect everyone in our lives to be exactly how they were when we met them and or for things to constantly be exactly how they were in a given chapter of our life, then we're going to set ourselves up for disappointment, right. Because people are always changing. Along with that point is the third lesson that I wrote down, which is family relationships are bound to change. So when I was, like, 13 or 14, I wasn't the best human being.
I was sneaking out of the house at night to go hang out with my boyfriend across the street. I was lying to my mom. I was chugging bottles of wine in my dad's cabin trying to get drunk. One of those nights included drinking, cooking, alcohol. Yeah, it was bad, you guys. But the point is, I didn't always have the best relationships with my parents. And the thing is that these things are going to change. And beyond the rebellious nature of youth and varying priorities, we're all bound to grow and shift as we enter into adulthood.
And with that comes new boundaries, new ways of seeing our parents and our family members. And sometimes new light is shown on those people. For better or for worse, you may not always be as close to one member of your family as you once were, and sometimes that's a hard reality to face. You may find that certain boundaries have to be put in place to keep them at a peaceful place and just knowing that just as much as life changes, so do relationships, opinions and ways of being, I think holding space and realizing that the dynamic of any relationship, family members, friendships, whatever will likely change will shift gives you and your emotions and your mentality a lot more room for that change.
And that adaptation to happen. When we realize that things are not always going to be one specific way, then it kind of takes away that expectation that can otherwise leave us feeling really down and really disappointed. Number four, doing what you want is so much more important than doing what you think you should do. I'm going to let that sink in for a minute. I think you already know this. I think you're probably nodding your head, being like, yeah, that's pretty obvious. But here's the thing.
Story time. When I moved across the country with my husband back in 2014, I spent so much time trying to find the next job that other people would be proud of me for. Instead of finding one that really spoke to me, and I landed one rather quickly. Within a month of moving, I was at a new job. I was working at a prestigious University, but I was miserable. I didn't have any paid time off, and I hated everything about it. So doing what you want, stepping into your zone not only of genius, but your zone of happiness and peace is going to be so much more important for you down the road than doing things that you think you should do.
This plays a role in career choices. Life choices where you're living, the people you're surrounding yourself with. There's going to be a moment in your life if there hasn't been already, when you're going to have to go against the grain and do something for you, even at the risk of disappointing other people. But it's so important that you do it anyway. Number five, some of the decisions you make that bring you the most happiness will be followed by the least amount of support by your peers.
Do them anyway. There's going to be times if you followed the stereotypical path of success, something I did where you go to high school, you graduate high school, you go to College, you get a job, maybe you Canva go back to school. You do all these life things that most people will be like, yeah, Congrats. We're built to congratulate each other for these things. Getting married, having kids, right? Like the white picket fence, all those things. And those things are great. I'm not dissing those things.
But if you're feeling like your life path, those things aren't part of it. Or if you're like, you know what? Screw it. I don't want to go to College or I don't want to go back to school. I want to start my own business. I want to go to the country and write a book. I want to go volunteer my time and live out of a camper van and just make things work, then do it. One thing I realized, the older I got and the more that I followed my own intuition and the more I was true to my calling and my soul, whatever that meant or felt like to me, the more I did that, the more I realized that there were less likes on Facebook, there were less.
Oh, my God. Congrats. There were less of those things, not because people weren't supportive, not because people didn't care, but because the things I were doing were outside of the norm, because the things I was doing were not necessarily things that other people would do could do or wanted to do or maybe thought that they could even have the ability to do. It's a lot harder for people, I think, to hold support and Congratulations for people when they don't see themselves doing the same thing. So don't stop or don't not do something simply because you don't think you have that safety net of support in front of you.
You have yourself. You have all of the opportunities in front of you and the resources in front of you and the ability and the capability in front of you within yourself. Do those things anyway. Number six, there's a power and stillness that you cannot find in any action you could take. I've driven myself into burnout more than once, and I've lived in a constant state of perfectionism that I still struggle with. My go attitude has gotten me results, sure, but it's also cost me aspects of my health and mental.
Wellbeing, along the way, we grow up thinking that success means working hard, never quitting, and always looking ahead to what's next. But taking time to fully slow down, and I mean, really like to rest, to meditate, to do absolutely nothing can be some of the most powerful healing moments of your life, so make time for them and make time for them often. One way to do this is to go outside in nature when you can and just sit there without your phone, without expectations, without trying to get so many steps in just to be completely present.
You can do this inside in your home, too, but just taking time to really do nothing and sit in the moment. And I think sometimes we avoid doing this because maybe we're avoiding sitting with our thoughts and our emotions. And if that's the case, I challenge you to try to step into it slowly. One thing about stillness and reveling in it is that you can just focus on one thing at a time, focusing on your breathing and just focusing on your stomach, moving up and down the air coming in and out of your lungs.
Focusing on that one thing will bring you to not only a meditative state but a feeling of calm and can be a great way to reduce anxiety and bring you back to the present moment and bring you back to. Oh, yeah, this is life. This is what's truly important. Number seven, I don't regret it, and you shouldn't either. I have made a lot of mistakes. I haven't always been the best person. I've been flaky. I've ditched situations I didn't want to be a part of. I've straight up messed up in my life.
You guys, I've not always been a good person. I've treated people poorly, but if I hadn't, I wouldn't have learned those lessons for myself. I wouldn't be growing into a better person daily. I wouldn't now own those mistakes, and I wouldn't have been able to truly improve upon them. The thing is that the things that we have done in the past can be really shitty. There can be things that we've done that we really don't want to own up to, and that sucks. It sucks. We're all going to do things that we're going to look back on and be like, wow, I was not a good person in that moment, but the moment that we actually do say, okay, and we accept that and we move forward, the better we're going to be for it, and the better we're going to be able to show up in other people's lives, too, because the truth is we can't go back in time and we can't change what we've done in the past.
I'm not saying that gives us a free reign of excuses to be assholes moving forward. But if we don't allow ourselves some type of forgiveness, then we're only going to make ourselves miserable and resentful of ourselves. And we need to have some self love in order to keep going on this journey. You guys. Number eight, public failure is a ritual worth partaking in. So let me make it clear here that there's a big distinction between failure and humiliation, and I'm not speaking to the latter here.
We're all terrified of failing in public and having others know that we didn't reach a goal, that we fell off the wagon, that we didn't stick with a commitment. Or maybe we made a promise that we couldn't keep it's rooted deeply in the praise of stoicism and lack of awareness of growth that happens when we fail. But the truth is that failing can make you vulnerable, but it can also help break the mindset that the only thing the only thing worth valuing is a perfect linear path forward.
Here are a few things I failed at that have shown me that my worst case scenarios have never been true and have shown me truths of others that I hadn't seen before. So at the time of this post, it says I gained back £40 after losing 60. That's now £50 after losing 60. So I still haven't met my goal of losing that weight again. But as a side Note I am so much more self compassionate with myself and loving than I ever was with my body in my 20s.
I not only know why I gained that weight and how it happened, but I'm also really just loving with myself and knowing that not only can I reach my goal again, but that that weight itself does not define me. The second thing I failed at was that I fell into a deep depression and was barely able to get out of the bed for about six months between the ages of 28 and 29. These are things that I am not no longer judging myself as failures, but I'm sharing these because these are things that I think we typically view or think of as failures in ourselves and sometimes others.
Another one is that I had what some might call a quarter life crisis, and in the span of nine months, I quit. I started and quit four jobs. And guess what? After all these things, I'm still existing. I'm still thriving. I'm still moving forward. Number nine. You're not special. None of us are. Now, before you get angry, put down the torch. This is actually a good thing. There's something within you right now that you're craving to do try that you desire, but maybe you think you're not worth it or that you can't.
And I'm here to call that out because the truth is that all those people you look up to aren't any different in their ability to create change than you are. Sure, we all come from different backgrounds, cultures, and yes, privilege does play a part in our society. But in terms of the mindsets that others have cultivated, you don't get to pull yourself out of that race that quickly. You have more power within you than you have ever given yourself credit for. No matter how advanced you think you are, there is always more inside you waiting to come alive.
I think this lesson was one of the most powerful lessons I've learned in the first 30 years of my life. Because once I realized that I could do anything that anyone else could do, it really started changing things for me. It's especially encouraging and amazing when other people realize this people that have disabilities, people that are going through something that a lot of people don't have to within their entire lives and they say to themselves, you know what? I'm no different. I am still going to do what I want to do.
There's something really powerful in that, and it doesn't always happen overnight. These mindset shifts. They don't always happen overnight, and sometimes they can take a lot of work and they can be mentally exhausting. But whatever that thing is that you have been craving to do and you've been holding yourself back on it. I want to call you out right now and say you're not special and that you can do it just like everyone else. Number ten, there's nothing you can do that will make you less of a blank.
So do you know how many people have told me I wasn't a lady? Because, I swear 24. Actually, I have no idea what that number actually is. It's probably way more. But my point is that I'm not any less of a lady because I swear, just like my husband isn't any less of a man because he doesn't eat meat. Anyone who makes statements about what it means to be a you fill in the blank that involves being condescending is plain and simple. They're just incorrect. I'm not quite sure if that sentence completely flowed together like I said in my brain, but the point is that there's nothing that you can do that will make you any less of whatever it is that you want to be or define yourself as number eleven.
Stop trying so hard to be positive all the time and just feel your emotions back in. Let me see here episode seven of the podcast. If you haven't listened to that one yet, I dive deep into why you don't have to be so damn positive all the time, and it was a popular one, but long rant aside, being positive and shelling out cliche happiness quotes is not going to solve any of your problems when a shit hits the fan and side note. It's not helping anyone else either.
The key to true mental homeostasis and happiness is a consistent method of living your life, feeling your feels, releasing them in healthy ways, and finding down time to do what you need to do to rest and recover. Number Twelve true gratitude comes from holding space for the shitty things, just like in my last point, if you are trying to cover up negative emotions with gratitude lists, you're only solving part of the problem. It would be like seeing mold on your wall and giving it a fresh cone of paint.
Doesn't matter what new shade the Home Depot HTTV Summer Pastel Beach Edition paint has its muted tones and surprisingly versatile texture won't keep new spores from growing on your wall. I am all about being grateful and keeping notes about it in my Journal, but I can tell you that when I acknowledge what's tough in my life as well and hold space for all of those things, it makes those lists even more powerful. So I'm not dissing gratitude list, success list, win list any of those things.
I'm just saying that if you don't really reach the core of the issues you're dealing with and you don't hold space for all the emotions you need to feel, you can let go and have them escape. Gratitude lists are just going to be that pastel paint over that moldy wall number 13, and this is a little bit controversial for a lot of people, but burning bridges can be vitally necessary to your health, happiness, and your career. How many times have you heard someone say, don't burn bridges.
You never know when you might need X, Y, and Z. Let me tell you something about the above statement, because I'm sure you've heard it too, whether it's work related or relationship or a networking thing. If you live your life fearful of burning bridges, you're going to keep a steady stream of people, situations and outcomes heading your way that you never, ever wanted. It's like creating this slippery slope of avenues with an open door right to your heart, mind, body and soul, and they're not serving you.
So what's the point? Right? And chances are, if you need to burn a bridge, quit a job on the spot, tell someone to go eat a Dick. Sorry, not sorry. That statement is always hilarious or walk away from a toxic situation. There is a reason and it is valid. I can't remember what point I made earlier in this, but it was that if you're feeling something isn't right, then there's probably a reason that you're feeling that way. Right? So sure. Maybe I shouldn't have stormed out of a dishwashing job in College and then laughed as they called me every 45 minutes because I didn't show up at my next shift.
But I also knew I couldn't stay at a job that paid buttons and required me to work during finals week. That burn bridge resulted in absolutely nothing down the road. Why? Because my future wasn't in the restaurant industry, and I knew that had I burned a bridge in an industry that I knew I wanted to be a part of, maybe that would have been a little bit more dumb, right? I mean, use your common sense, but let's be tactical and not office space. Every job that gets frustrating.
But let's also acknowledge that not only do we need to burn bridges sometimes, but we also need to light those mofos on fire and make sure no one can ever reach us again. I'm serious. Sometimes there are times in your life where burning bridges is really essential to your health, happiness and wellbeing, number 14 people will often do the opposite of what you need when you go through something tragic. When horrible things happen, people often clam up and don't know what to do or say. It's why we hear things like, I'm sorry for your loss or tell me if you need anything, or I can't even imagine there's something really wrong with these statements, but they shine a light on how it's just natural to distance ourselves from grief and the grief of others.
The same thing happens when people go through traumas. We distance ourselves. We let our egos take a hold and get hypercritical if they don't respond a certain way to our gestures of help and comfort. But when you are the one suffering grieving mourning, no matter what kind of loss or circumstance, it can be incredibly humbling to know or find out that no one will truly understand what you are going through at the level you are going through it. Personally, I wasn't alone in the loss of my own dad, but once I realized that no one else would be able to fully understand my grief the way I was experiencing it as my own human being, it gave me permission to stop trying to explain it to others.
Number 15. If you find something you like doing, do it. Make time for it. Revel in it. I hit my late 20s and I found myself enthralled with a few things all over again that I hadn't enjoyed since my teens. Things like journaling stickers, collecting crystals and rocks, tarot cards, and the Golden Girls. Oh, my gosh. Isn't Rose the best. But for months I told myself I was too old for many of those things. I know what, and I didn't let myself do them or fully embrace any of those hobbies.
But you need to because the things that make you feel silly, the things that make you feel over the moon, the things that you Canva explain, the joy. But it just brings you so much you need to do those things. And sometimes it can be hard, much like self care, because sometimes doing those things means time away from people we love. It means a little bit of isolation. Maybe it means doing things that other people don't understand completely. You need to make time for that. Your soul needs that, and it is so vital to your health and your longevity.
Number 16. You are so much more than what your family has told you you can be. This applies in all directions. Whether your family was supportive, whether they had a clear path they wanted you to follow, whether they weren't present or supportive of you at all. You are always much more than anyone else has led you to believe. Good intentions aside, take this to heart. You are only just discovering your full power, and I'll leave it at that for that one because I think that that may require a little bit of journaling on your end or a little bit more deep thought.
Number 17. Find what you're passionate about and give with as much of your heart as you can. The world of social media gives us an amazing view and perspective of the issues of the world, how we can help and what we can do to change it. But it also can feel incredibly overwhelming and be a huge source of guilt that we're never doing enough. I feel that way often, but the best and most powerful way to give back is when you can find a cause that's deeply rooted in your ethical belief, something so strong that your soul feels called to help and make that change no matter what.
And hey, maybe that thing isn't ringing a Bell yet. Maybe it hasn't come to you yet, but keep searching. You're way better off making an impact for the cause that turns a fire in your belly than trying to support five and spreading yourself too thin. People are always going to argue that whatever you support doesn't support something else. Or better yet, a better way to rephrase that is that if you care about animal rights, then maybe you don't care about children suffering in other countries. The thing is, focusing your energy on one cause doesn't mean you don't care about other things, but we need people that are hyper focused on one specific thing so that that one specific thing can evolve and get better.
There are so many people in this world and you personally don't have to do it all. Choose your thing. Choose your thing. Do it with passion. Number 18, this is an important one. Putting yourself first is not capital N-O-T. Selfish. When I got married, I remember people telling me, well, now you have a new priority and in many ways, your marriage and your husband will come first. Every time someone said this to me, I stared at them blankly for a moment before saying, no, I still come first.
Always. Now, I know many may disagree with me here, but I stand firm in this because when you are expected to put others first, you take away a huge part of your soul and a deep love for yourself. You put the ownership of your health, happiness and wellbeing in someone else's hands, whether it's a spouse, a child, a partner or family member. And it's a hard but beautiful truth to learn that no one else can make you happy or truly take care of you the way that you can take care of yourself.
I also remember that after getting married, my husband's grandmother threw us a small party. We were driving cross country right after we got married, and she had bought us a unity candle from a party store. And as soon as we each took our individual candles and let the unity candle, everyone said, now blow out the others. So like, blow out your own candle. And I thought what my husband and I have had so many conversations since then and have always vowed to never blow out our own candles.
Figuratively speaking, of course, what I like better is knowing that when I put myself first, I have more energy room and fuel to help ignite other people's individual candles. The brighter your candle Burns, the more energy and fuel you'll have to help other people. And it's just like that old cliche saying that you have to use your own oxygen mask first. If you can't breathe, you're not going to be able to help anyone else. A side Note As I'm going through this, I realized I numbered them wrong and there's actually 30 of them.
So that's pretty cool. So number 19, let go of the desire to be right all the time. If there's anything I learned from taking debate in College, it's that it's amazing how much can change when you open your mind to new perspectives and possibilities. And when you let go of the desire to be right all the time, when you do this, you find the ability to become enlightened with truth and empowerment. You guys, I think I'm going to stop here for now. We're 19 of the 30 through the things that I wanted to state, the things, the lessons I've learned now that I'm 30.
So this is going to be part one, and I will do part two shortly. I don't know if it'll be the next episode, but it will be coming up next. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of the podcast. I'd love to hear what your lessons have been along the way. No matter what age you are, feel free to share your comments by either visiting the Podcast Show Notes page where there are always comments there. It's Mindful Productivity Podcast. Come say Hi to me on Instagram.
I am Mindful Productivity Podcast, and that's where I'm always hanging out online. By the way, thank you so much for listening. I hope you have a great week and I hope that some of these lessons that I have learned have really helped you and resonated with you as well.
